The Berkano Show

I hinted on before that i have been having this bursts of beating from my heart. I feel like i'm kabado or excited at some points during the day. I have already linked it to my coffee drinking habits and i believe reducing my daily dose of caffeine might help. So i guess it's not just the coffee but the drug itself. I need to make that specific because we still encounter caffeine in other produce as well. There's some in colas,chocolate, medication, energy drinks and tea. Now i'm still debating if i should include them as well but for now it's the coffee who's gonna be feeling the cut. In fact i have successfully reduced my coffee drinking to once (not AT LEAST once) a day. Good thing is i'm not really that addicted to coffee although i drink coffee excessively especially when it is free (it's like a drinking fountain in the St. Ignatius Hall).

Is it working? For now i still don't see that much of a change though but i'd like to give it some more time. Maybe their is still some caffeine in my body stored somewhere. I do tend to become more sleepy now and maybe that is a good sign. As for the heartbeats i have to wait till monday to see some results because i really notice it during the idle time between talks.

Coffee drinking has been in my blood since i was a kid. Coffee was more affordable than milk and i actually have a memory of me drinking it as a toddler in a bottle! Or maybe it's just the drug messing with my mind. I usually have three drinks with a medium sized mug. One in the morning, another when i arrive from work and the last when i go to sleep. This increases during vacation when suddenly there is nothing to do. So i drink more coffee.

Adenosine binds with adenosine receptors in the brain which in turn causes drowsiness by slowing down nerve cell activity. But caffeine starts to run the show. For starters the brain confuses itself with adenosine and caffeine. Figure out what makes you sleep and what doesn't. Caffeine then goes into the adenosine receptors. I think it acts as an inhibitor so you don't feel sleepy. Then the brain sends hormones so your glands to release some adrenaline so your body feels more alert. So maybe it is the reason for my fast heartbeats and my other quirkiness.

Another reason i would be reducing my cofee drinking would be dreams. When i fetch Lem from her job she always tells me about her dreams. Odd things really, and sometimes it makes me wonder what she's thinking when i'm not around. But she tells me one way making the dreams not come true is by revealing it thereby forcing fate to cut that string of thought. Im not gonna go to that point now. It's that SHE HAS DREAMS or she remembers it. I on the other hand do not. The normal person gets to have at least five dreams or episodes that get strung into one incohesive pulp of fiction which you star in or you're the director. The normal person also remembers his or her most recent dreams. I do not. I remember some of my dreams from years ago but i have suddenly realized that i have been waking up in the morning with no dreams on hand. Nothing to share with Hope.

I want to tell her that i have been battling some strange monster or that i was jumping from tree top to buildings and suddenly become a superhero with no cape but with an emerald ring that controls the universe but I can't. Remembering our dreams, and not just reason, separates us from other of God's creations. We remember our dreams therefore we are human. It is not just Rapid Eye Movements. Animals have R.E.M.'s too. But i haven't heard a dolphin remark about her being 'Marina' last night.

It seems these days that dreams and coffee take the form of salesmen (or women) to advertize themselves to me. Coffee holds this big mug saying, "have some more" while the dream saleslady seduces me by saying, "i can go to bed with you." I'd like to have them both actually. I can say that dreams are actually thoughts while coffee because it is material must be an extension. Thoughts and extensions can coexist right?

They say that our conscious self is just a tip of the iceberg. Well i seem to have a difficulty in exploring the cold water to see how a huge block of myself looks like and i think it is a big problem. Because how can we ever get actualized when we do not have glimpses to the ice under the water. It seems we are incomplete. Incomplete is me.

I am willing to reduce my coffee to see my dreams again. Maybe i would dream of me drinking coffee. And then the me in my dream would end up not dreaming because he's been drinking too much coffee. I choose the dream saleslady.

As of Monday:
Cups of Coffee --- 2
Dreams --- 0.25
(Faint suggestions of people i remember. But the plot wasn't clear to me so i don't say it is a full dream)