The Berkano Show

As of writing...

The guys from the NCR are "worried" that a possible "activity" may shake the current comfort zone of the government.

Military activity has peaked.

Organizations are crowding up.

OF course they will! It's the anniversary of one of the most historical event in our country! NAY THE WORLD!

I just wonder why the government is so worried that they would go at great lengths to suppress what might be a normal gathering. Their suppression might trigger what they were originally hoping to avoid.

I just wonder why these leftist movements suddenly show up now when 20 years ago THEY WERENT THERE.

Of course I understand that the best way to commemorate this day is to move forward and not just remembering the days that has gone. Their version of moving forward is backtracking to the only solution they have known to work.

So far nothing is hapening here. We have always been looking at what is happening across the pond.

Why don't we really move forward? Why don't we show those guys up there that there are more ways to change a nation? Students have been taught to examine multiple solutions to a problem but why do adults seem just focus with one? Is this what we want to show the future leaders of this country?

I'm quite sure that we here living in the other islands also wanting to affect change. And I bet we are doing a better job than them.

It wasn't because of Ang Lee's masterful vision for I have seen only his massive kung fu flick or Anne Proulx's great story.

Most certainly it was not because of the actors. Anyone would have created such a stir. After all, they would be playing cowboys who fall in love with each other while herding sheep in the now popular spot.

WHAT THE!?!?!

While first reading about it Kfccinema.com

WHAT THE $#^%$^%&%365

While watching the expected scence of passion (caused by the whisky and the cold weather)

WhAt hteh @13234&**&%^%&&^(^(*)(*^%$&&%((%%$^%3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really the novelty stops there. This is a great, albeit tragic, love story.

It is great because it was a love like no other and the film and the actors make you suspend your disbelief. For them Love had no boundaries. It was tragic because their enemy was more than race, colour, or religion but themselves. In their society Love has walls that can never be penetrated. They can never win.

There are absolutely no parallels in the lives of the two cowboys from beginnning to end. Enis Del Mar was laconic while Jack Twist was the more livelier and talkative of the two. After that summer they at first seem to take the same paths away from each other but their situations were completely different. Their wives and manner of living mirror this . Yet they can never really escape what had happened for it had gotten a strong hold of them. At first it was postcards then there were fishing trips. They really thought they can get away with it.

How their partners reacted caused the tragedy of this film. The film shows how their world was getting smaller by giving us vast, bright shots of Wyoming (I was told it was shot in Canada) in the first chapter then suddenly reduce to the emotions of the four main characters. For some reason I do not despise Anne Hathaway's character considering what was done and Michelle Williams was so troubled I only wish the confrontation was done much sooner.

I'm no film critic but i absolutely love movies. Im quite sure the experts would agree with me that the writers who adapted this (Larry McMurty and Diana Ossana) and Ang Lee did a damn fine job with this one.

My only regret was not reading Anne Proulx's short story before the release of the film because it would have been a better way to judge its consistency.

The short story won a Pulitzer so I wouldn't be surprised if this picks up a lot of Oscars come March.

DENNIS TRILLO eat you heart out! Kissing some other guy is not enough to win you an award!

So finally i have decided to fill this free space of the internet. Using my newly connected 384 kbps DSL Line (theoretically, but still I get acceptable speeds ) I will be able to communicate my thoughts and afterthoughts and thoughtlessness in life. Should you wish to comment on anything I write here (though judging from the traffic this page has generated that would be zero) feel free to diss me off. But if I know you I swear Ill get bak to you one way or another (perhaps a casual game of freestyle or Yahoo! scrabble).

Im back on the heels of the DSL winged horse!

I hinted on before that i have been having this bursts of beating from my heart. I feel like i'm kabado or excited at some points during the day. I have already linked it to my coffee drinking habits and i believe reducing my daily dose of caffeine might help. So i guess it's not just the coffee but the drug itself. I need to make that specific because we still encounter caffeine in other produce as well. There's some in colas,chocolate, medication, energy drinks and tea. Now i'm still debating if i should include them as well but for now it's the coffee who's gonna be feeling the cut. In fact i have successfully reduced my coffee drinking to once (not AT LEAST once) a day. Good thing is i'm not really that addicted to coffee although i drink coffee excessively especially when it is free (it's like a drinking fountain in the St. Ignatius Hall).

Is it working? For now i still don't see that much of a change though but i'd like to give it some more time. Maybe their is still some caffeine in my body stored somewhere. I do tend to become more sleepy now and maybe that is a good sign. As for the heartbeats i have to wait till monday to see some results because i really notice it during the idle time between talks.

Coffee drinking has been in my blood since i was a kid. Coffee was more affordable than milk and i actually have a memory of me drinking it as a toddler in a bottle! Or maybe it's just the drug messing with my mind. I usually have three drinks with a medium sized mug. One in the morning, another when i arrive from work and the last when i go to sleep. This increases during vacation when suddenly there is nothing to do. So i drink more coffee.

Adenosine binds with adenosine receptors in the brain which in turn causes drowsiness by slowing down nerve cell activity. But caffeine starts to run the show. For starters the brain confuses itself with adenosine and caffeine. Figure out what makes you sleep and what doesn't. Caffeine then goes into the adenosine receptors. I think it acts as an inhibitor so you don't feel sleepy. Then the brain sends hormones so your glands to release some adrenaline so your body feels more alert. So maybe it is the reason for my fast heartbeats and my other quirkiness.

Another reason i would be reducing my cofee drinking would be dreams. When i fetch Lem from her job she always tells me about her dreams. Odd things really, and sometimes it makes me wonder what she's thinking when i'm not around. But she tells me one way making the dreams not come true is by revealing it thereby forcing fate to cut that string of thought. Im not gonna go to that point now. It's that SHE HAS DREAMS or she remembers it. I on the other hand do not. The normal person gets to have at least five dreams or episodes that get strung into one incohesive pulp of fiction which you star in or you're the director. The normal person also remembers his or her most recent dreams. I do not. I remember some of my dreams from years ago but i have suddenly realized that i have been waking up in the morning with no dreams on hand. Nothing to share with Hope.

I want to tell her that i have been battling some strange monster or that i was jumping from tree top to buildings and suddenly become a superhero with no cape but with an emerald ring that controls the universe but I can't. Remembering our dreams, and not just reason, separates us from other of God's creations. We remember our dreams therefore we are human. It is not just Rapid Eye Movements. Animals have R.E.M.'s too. But i haven't heard a dolphin remark about her being 'Marina' last night.

It seems these days that dreams and coffee take the form of salesmen (or women) to advertize themselves to me. Coffee holds this big mug saying, "have some more" while the dream saleslady seduces me by saying, "i can go to bed with you." I'd like to have them both actually. I can say that dreams are actually thoughts while coffee because it is material must be an extension. Thoughts and extensions can coexist right?

They say that our conscious self is just a tip of the iceberg. Well i seem to have a difficulty in exploring the cold water to see how a huge block of myself looks like and i think it is a big problem. Because how can we ever get actualized when we do not have glimpses to the ice under the water. It seems we are incomplete. Incomplete is me.

I am willing to reduce my coffee to see my dreams again. Maybe i would dream of me drinking coffee. And then the me in my dream would end up not dreaming because he's been drinking too much coffee. I choose the dream saleslady.

As of Monday:
Cups of Coffee --- 2
Dreams --- 0.25
(Faint suggestions of people i remember. But the plot wasn't clear to me so i don't say it is a full dream)

No coffee would ever make write as hard, but thinking about her did.

so my testimonial did not merit the character limit of the site. here it is in all its glory. i think you guys should all read it too since you all know her naman.

her goes:

Last night
i dreamed that
i was in love
with you.
This morning
I woke up
and realized that
I AM in love
with you.
I am living
my dream
between
awakenings.

---

There are still certain times when i actually say this is too good to be true. But indeed an angel is watching over us everyday.

I did not realise it was her wearing the multicolored bracelet (abubot, or some thing to protect her from ghouls like me) but she sat behind me (or a few seats behind me i can't recall) in the Caltex Sci Art competition in Pajo Elementary School when i was in grade six. It was there that i would also meet two of my most respected friends but id have to give it to fate for making me see my future in that public school. i would dare not ask her about her first impressions about me but ask anyone in any timeline and they would gladly give their remarks about this wonderful lady. After your first conversation with her i am willing to bet she would be the first person you'd remember and probably would never forget in your lifetime.

She has a cute smile and she always sings (ganda ng boses, lalo na kung ikaw ang kinakantahan...kahit na aegis song pa), writes sad poems sometimes and a very engaging prose. I would love to share some of her poems here but id rather keep it to myself. If she really, really, really,knows you she just might write a poem or two exclusively about you (makes for a cheap but great gift heheheheheh).

she has been my strength, and my only hope (?). really, hal jordan has this lantern and this ring where he gets his power. well i get mine from her. she does not give up even when everyone around her does, more often than not she'll become an unseen leader of the group giving her thoughts only when necessary. they say super heroes only come from comic books, but shes got greater will than all the green lantern corps and the guardians combined.

you will never find anyone like her in the past or in the future, (margaret thatcher or queen elizabeth would come close, possibly lady diana but that's it. not even julia roberts' smile can give that extra sigh) so make sure not to waste your time and make her your friend.

mahal kita at alam mo na yun. nandito lang ako, kahit na minsan parang reklamador ako pero gusto ko talagang makita ka araw araw kahit ano pa ang sabihin ng iba dyan. Ang hinihiling ko lang sa iyo ay ngitian mo lang ako habang papalapit ka na sa harapan ko (at siguraduhin mong ako ang tinitingnan at hindi yung matabang guard sa office nyo) at maligaya na ako. makakalimutan ko na lahat ng mga iniisip ko. she has this effect on people. she certainly did it to me amplified.

---

I found out
between walking
in the football
field and sipping
cafe mocha that it's
not enough to fall
in love only once.
even when you try to
fight it.

I certainly fell
in love with you over
and over and over
again. so i guess i am
complete.

----

thanks lem for your patotoo

it has been a wonderful three days since i've been given myself an i.p. address. For a while it actually felt like having an identity. Of course seconds later i'd realize that the identity was already there, all mudded, confused, and all, yet still my own. I now have the power to be almost omniscient and almost omnipotent! quite scary, as shown using some examples but still exciting if you ask me.

i will wander for a while and talk about my first encounters with the internet. There was this talkshow called Teysi ng Tahanan when i was in grade school and they were chatting about this nice revolution which allowed people to communicate with their loved ones outside of the country. Their talk was to introduce a whole generation of filipinos about the capabilites of the internet, since the network which aired the show was making itself known through the internet. During that time of course i had no idea how to use it and besides it would take me to high school before really getting to know the computer.

at first year high school i did great in math and an unusual subject called i.t. But it was in the summer when me and a classmate (coolio) while working as facilitators in a summer enrichment program that i stumbled into a program called the web crawler. I said to myself this must be the 'browser'. i tried typing 'http://computerchronicles.com', the website of a show i watched on that kung fu channel 6. On the upper right corner of the window it had this rotating globe (so now you would know it wasn't actually crawler but internet explorer all along). I think it was supposed to tell me the program was doing all it can to find the site but it wasn't able to. It didn't help that there was 'looking up' written on the status bar .

bottom line is i didn't see any page. But it was a start of the revolution for me. i would like to thank my instructors at stec for making me believe i can actually do something other people dont want to do.

fast forward to the future, here i am. the only complaint i have right now is that in high school and in college and numerous internet cafes (except in the old cyer 80), it was like surfing with an F1 car. Multiple tabs, streaming audio and video, online gaming i can do it in about 15 minutes. In my computer right now, PATIENCE has to be my friend. It does teach me to be more efficient. In fact, this blog was entirely made in notepad because it would really cost a lot of minutes to make something long.

i guess thats it for now.

well if there is one thing that bothers me right now is that my heart seems to be beating faster this past four days. Siguro isip ko lang pero parang laging kabado ako. Maybe its the coffee i take. Maybe its emotion which i doubt. But im quite sure it started to happen tuesday (probably monday evening). Well i resolved to take only two cups of coffee a day and see if thats gonna change anything.

chow.